It's one of those days when it's catching up with me again. My workload has been building up as there's such a backlog. I've been needed so she can talk things through to someone quite a lot recently, as there's been one source of confusion or upset after another. It's all very well the therapist saying that it's good training and that the world won't adjust for her, but the impact these things have on us here at the coal face can be crippling. And how many can take 2 or 3 hours out of their day? Once is hard enough, but every day for 4 years really adds up.
And so the backlog builds, and the weight of it feels so heavy, and yet time marches on. Dinner needs cooking, the weeds are growing, the animals need feeding and the youngest needs help with her homework.
The time spent with muscles tensed through stress leaves them aching and stiff, my head is aching and I feel so very tired. I catch myself sighing loudly, and feel as if I could just sit down and cry. For hours. But that is not possible, she is so hyper-sensitive that I'd be found out in a flash, and it would be so hard on her. So I keep it in again. And dream of a time when I can find a place to hide away and weep.
